Dealing With Protesters: A Workflow For Busy Officials

Let’s say you’re a Chinese official, and someone in your precinct is accusing you of corruption (How dare he! Just because you took a few bribes doesn’t make you corrupt!) and threatening to go public, maybe even go to Beijing. What do you do? Here’s an interesting representation of it, via Southern Weekend:

The text reads from left to right: report, slander, detain, send home.

The first step is the citizen reporting you, the corrupt official. After they report you, you accuse them of slander — not how the citizen comes out of the second shack with handcuffs on — and have them detained by the police, ideally somewhere windowless like the house shown in the picture. Who knows what might happen to them in there! Anyway, after they’re detained, they’re sent back home, properly cowed and newly obedient.

Thank god. Now you can return to matters of more pressing concern to the public, such as whether they’d rather their tax dollars go to buying you a BMW or a Mercedes.

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